What Does Real Love Look Like?

From the Catholic Liturgy for the 5^th Sunday of Easter, May 19, 2019. Gospel – John 13:31-35. Theme: What Does Real Love Look Like?

In today’s Gospel, Jesus says to us, “I give you a NEW commandment…”  so that might make us ask ourselves: what was the old commandment? Well, you might recall that the former commandment concerning love was this, “love your neighbor as yourself.” Jesus himself taught it to his disciples up until this night when he “tweaked it”, we might say.

But you see, the old commandment to love for others by treating them as we would want to be treated ourselves was really nothing unique to Christianity. Judaism embraces this kind of love and we see it taught in the Old Testament. Mahatma Gandhi advocated this kind of love as an expression of his Hindu religious convictions. Islam embraces this love in its solemn concept of sacred hospitality. And actually, we can even see this “golden rule” in the lives of people with no religious faith, but who are motivated by humanitarian concerns. But none of these expressions of love hit the mark as to what Jesus is calling us to do and to be in today’s Gospel.

The new commandment calls us to love others as Jesus loves, and the context in which he which he spoke these words is vital to understanding them.  Jesus gives us this new commandment at the Last Supper, on the very night that he will freely offer up his very life and begin to undergo his Passion. And there is the key to our search for what it means to love as a Christian.  To love as Jesus loves means to observe the old commandment and then go beyond it. It means to love others MORE than we love ourselves and to prove this love by the way we act. This is what is unique to Christianity and which forms the very heart of the faith we embrace, profess and live. 

And to be honest, this is a love which is not easily understood by many.  Because from our limited and all too often selfish point of view, God’s love is crazy love, foolish love. It is a love which doesn’t make sense to anyone who is living primarily for themselves. And yes, I would agree that Christ-like love is indeed “crazy stupid love” IF we look at life with selfish eyes.  Christ-like love is most simply defined as self-emptying, self-forgetful, self-giving without concern as to what it will cost the lover, the giver. But literally and only by the grace of God it is indeed possible for those who keep their eyes and their hearts fixed, not on themselves, but on Jesus Christ.

It’s very difficult to define this kind of love, but we know it when we see it, and we admire it when we encounter it. And that’s why instead of standing here today talking about it, I want to share with you a living example of Christ-like love that I have witnessed and which speak much more powerfully than my words ever could (to hear the story listen to the audio version of this homily).

We are all uplifted and inspired by encountering this kind of heroic loving.  We admire the utter generosity, the unbelievable self-forgetfulness. And even though most of us will not be asked to live out Christ-like love in such extreme situations, we are all called to live it in the daily grind of life which can, in all honesty, be just as challenging.  So, we need to look at the outstanding example of people like that husband, or like so many of the saints, and ponder on how Christ is asking us to live his self-giving love in our own situations. Who in my life needs my support in difficulty? Who needs my presence in their loneliness? Who needs my physical help in their disability or illness? Who needs my patience and prayers as they struggle for sobriety and recovery?

And you know, as I see it, the beautiful thing about real love is that it lifts us up out of ourselves, up to higher realms.  As we live it out it teaches us, bit by bit, day by day, that it is indeed very possible for us to become more and more like Jesus. And that, after all, is what Christianity is all about.