Sunday, February 23, 2020

Love is Forgiveness


Catholic Liturgy for the 7th Sunday of Ordinary Time, Feb. 23, 2020. Gospel of St. Matthew 5:38-48. Theme: Love is Forgiveness

In today’s gospel, Jesus presents us with what is probably the most challenging of his teachings for us to both accept and to live: love for one’s enemies. Our official definition of an enemy is “a person who feels hatred for, fosters harmful designs against, or engages in antagonistic activities against another.”  And when most people think of “the enemy” they typically have in mind some foreign anti-American militants spewing forth hatred and threatening our lives from afar.

But you know, I think the reality is that for many of us, the “enemy”, that is, the person who is antagonistic or spiteful or abusive to us can most often be found among our own circle of relatives and acquaintances, in our neighborhoods or even right within our own homes.  The most real up-close-and-personal enemy is the spouse who is unfaithful or who has abandoned the family; the child or sibling who is an addict, always lying to us and often stealing from us; the whacky neighbor who falsely and repeatedly accuses us of imagined grievances, destroying our peace of mind and heart; the co-worker who got the promotion we wanted and always seem to find a way to throw it back in our face. The list can go on and on but you know what I mean. These are the ones who challenge our commitment as Christians to willingly embrace that difficult and unique form of love called forgiveness.

Jesus directly addresses the desire we all experience to “get even” when we have been hurt physically or emotionally. He even quotes a very famous line about payback from the Old Testament, “An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.” But I bet that most of us do not know that this law of Moses was not promulgated to justify “getting even”. Believe it or not, it was actually a law that sought to promote peace and stop the escalation of violence! You see, before that law was declared, people would take TWO eyes for an eye and a WHOLE MOUTH OF TEETH for a tooth! 

But Jesus moves us upward from this notion of strict justice to the higher level of mercy when he says, “Offer no resistance to one who is evil. When someone strike you on the right cheek, turn the other one as well…”  What Jesus is actually saying is that we can, indeed, respond to hatred and violence, but in a way that ignores our gut reaction to fight back. He teaches us that we must step up and do our part to break the cycle of retaliation and put an end to the cancer of revenge that keeps repeating itself over and over in our lives and relationships.
Dr. Robert Enright, a devout practicing Catholic and an internationally acclaimed psychologist, whom Time magazine called the “Trailblazer of Forgiveness” give us this wise advice: “When you forgive someone who has deeply hurt you, you let go of resentment and the urge to seek revenge, no matter how deserving of these things the wrongdoer may be. You choose to give the great gifts of acceptance, generosity and love. Forgiving is an act of mercy toward someone who does not necessarily deserve our mercy but you don’t let that stand in your way. Rather, you give mercy because you have freely and intentionally chosen to have a merciful heart.”

Now, we all know that this is not an easy thing to do. And Jesus is not saying that forgiving comes naturally to us.  Refusing to retaliate towards someone does not mean that what was done to us was ok nor does it give permission to the offender to keep offending. But we are not concerned with trying to control or change the other person.  We are called to control and change only ourselves. And the curious thing is that the more allow ourselves to be changed through prayer and God’s grace, the more we do indeed end up having a positive influence on those around us and bringing the hope of healing and new life into our relationships.

(In the audio version, I now tell the story of St. Maria Goretti)


The desire and decision to intentionally forgive is a sure sign that the Holy Spirit is alive and active within us.  When we choose to forgive another just as God forgives us, it’s proof that we are becoming more and more like Christ whom we strive to know, love and follow.  And this “becoming like Jesus” is something that can only come about in us by the Eucharist celebrate and receive. We’ve heard it said that we become what we eat, and this is so very true about Holy Communion. The more we receive the Risen Body and Blood of Christ with humility and devotion, the more we will become like him. By the grace of God and through the power of the Holy Spirit, the Eucharist we receive will enable us to love and to forgive bit-by-bit, day-by-day, more-and-more like Jesus, our Beloved Brother and Lord.

Artist depiction of Alessandro's Forgiveness Dream


Mrs. Goretti & Alessandro at Maria's Canonization

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